Lingering Thoughts
by Kchan88
Summary: Harry sits by the Hogwarts lake, pondering all of the things that happened that night in the Ministry of Magic, and about Sirius. A short one shot fic.


Lingering thoughts

A Harry Potter one- shot drama fic by Kchan88

Harry was sitting by the lake, looking at his refelection, and fingering his scar. He had left Ron and Hermione bickering over something or the other back in the Gryffindor common room. He just needed to be alone for a while, to think about all of the things that had happened that night in the Ministry of Magic. He looked around the Hogwarts grounds, knowing that his father, Lupin, and Sirius had spent many days causing mischief aroiund these grounds with their Maurader's map. Harry's bright green eyes filled with tears, but he wiped them roughly away. His parents had died so that he could live, and he couldn't even manage to protect Sirius? He couldn't have seen through Voldemort's plan? He fingered the scar on his forehead once more. Why did he have to be the one Voldemort chose? Why couldn't he just be a normal teenage wizard? How he craved normalcy, how he craved not to have to be constantly on the watch. How much he craved to have his parents and Sirius back, how he craved not to have the people he loved in danger. He was so worried that what had happened to Sirius would happen to someone else. Were the people in his life in danger because of their connections with him? Should he isolate himself from them until the final outcome with Voldemort? Harry shook his dark head and a a slight smile appeared on his pale face. He knew right away that he couldn't get away with that, everyone , especially Ron, Hermione, Lupin,and the Weasly family, would see right through that. But what could he do to protect his friends? What to do? And of course there was the ever present question of how to live without Sirius. Somehow Harry had to figure out what to do. His thoughts turned to his friends. He felt so guilty for putting them in danger. He hadn't meant to, but he swore to himself that he wouldn't fall for Voldemort's scheme again. Next time he would be ready. Ron's and Hermione's faces popped into his head and he smiled faintly. He was so glad to have them, for he didn't know what he would have done after the loss of Sirius if it hadn't been for them. They helped him keep his sanity during all of the hard times. He desperatley wanted to tell them what had been in the prophecy, but he was not ready to admit that to himself, let alone to anyone else. But when he was ready, they would be the first to know. His thoughts turned on the prophecy, the blasted thing that had been the reason for all of his pain. How could it be true that his life would include or end in murder? How cruel a fate was that? But Harry was determined to stay alive, If he was doomed to this fate, he was not going to let Voldemort kill him. He couldn't do that to all the people who loved him. He wouldn't let Voldemort have that pleasure. Harry shook his dark head, the painful thoughts becoming to much for him to handle. He kicked a nearby stone in anger. Why did it have to be this way! Why did he have to be without his parents? Why did he have to have and evil wizard after his life? Why did Sirius have to be gone? His thoughts turned once more on his godfather and the strange room inside the Department of Mysteries. The room behind the veil. When he had entered that room, he had heard voices, voices of people that he could not see. Yet he had not been the only one who had heard them, Luna had heard them to. Had they been the voices of people that were dead, and if so, how could he hear them? Was that room a connection between this world and the next? If it was, then could perhaps Harry talk to Sirius? Harry wished he knew. But he couldn't help but think that maybe Sirius was still here somehow. He knew it was crazy, but he couldn't help but hope. Perhaps he could ask Dumbledore more about the room. For the last time he had talked to Dumbledore, he had been in no state to ask a question like that. He gazed up at the castle, to the window where the headmaster's study was, wondering what the proffesor was doing. He looked upon Hogwarts, knowing that he would have to leave in a few days, for summer vacation. He dreaded the thought of going back to the Dursley's. They could never understand what had happened to him, it wasn't possible. But then again, its not as if they would care, except perhaps for Aunt Petunia. Something seemed to have changed in her since the Howler had come last summer. Harry sighed heavily, trying not to think about it. He just held on to the fact that he wouldn't have to stay there for very long, because Dumbledore has promised that he would join the people in the Order as soon as possible, as he had done last summer. Harry looked over at Hagrid's hut in the distance, smiling slightly as he thought of all of Hagrid's strange animals. Hagrid had always been such a good friend to him. He thought perhaps that he would pay him a visit, perhaps being offered some rock cakes. But then as Harry stood up to go, his scar gave a painful throb, knocking him to the ground. He sat for a minute, rubbing his scar angrily. If he didn't have this scar, he would have parents, and he wouldn't have to worry about this prophecy that had completely changed his life. But as the thought of Lily and James came to mind, so did the thought of Sirius and that room. There was something about that room, and he was going to find out the secret. He got up again, and saw Hermione and Ron coming towards him. He waited for a moment, and they caught up with him.

"Hello mate," said Ron, his usual grin, missing from his face. "Are you alright?"

Hermione to, seemed concerned, as her eyes looked over the tearstains on Harry's face.

"You've been gone for a long time, we just wondered where you had gone." she said, looking at him seriously.

Harry actually laughed at himself. He should have known that he could hide nothing from them.

"I've just been thinking about Sirius." said Harry quietly.

And with those words out of his mouth, both Ron and Hermione hugged him at the same time. Harry smiled. If there was anything in this world that could ever comfort him again, it was his two best friends.

"I quite fancied a visit with Hagrid. " said Harry, waving at Hagrid from the distance. "Want to come along?"

"Of course." they responded, never wanting to miss an opportunity to visit Hagrid. And knowing also, that it would perhaps make Harry feel even a fraction better.

And as they walked over the sloping green hills of the grounds, Harry felt a warm breeze that seemed to whisper his name. And he knew that wherever Sirius was, whether it be in that room, or somewhere far away, he knew that his godfather was with him now. He looked over at his friends, and knew they felt it too. And though Harry's heart was shattered, and though he dreaded what lie ahead, he was happy for that moment, and had gained perhaps an tiny fraction of hope for the future, for he knew that Sirius believed that he could do anything. And as they reached Hagrid's hut and recieved a jovial welcome, Harry thought's began to dwell on the 'power' that Dumbledore said he possesd, and which Voldemort had none. Harry looked up at the cloudless sky, the warm June breeze still blowing through his hair, and he knew that when it was time for him to know, he would know. And as he thought of Sirius, he smiled sadly, knowing that Sirius would probably know what it was, and hoping against any type of reason or hope, that he hadn't lost his godfather forever. 


End file.
